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April 2, 2019 by Kirk Brechbiel

How to Resolve Family Conflict Over Caring for an Aging Loved One

When it comes to the care and well-being of a loved one, the decisions that must be made among family members is a naturally very emotionally-charged one. Everyone wants what is in the best interest of that family member, yet may have different opinions as to what this is.

If you or someone you know is struggling with resolving family conflict over caring for an aging loved one, there are advice and resources that can be immensely helpful to reducing this conflict. Here are some great places to start!

Bring Everyone to the Table

One of the first steps to resolving family conflict over your aging loved one’s care is to bring everyone involved “to the table.” What this means is having everyone sit down together, ideally in person, to have a calm and mature conversation regarding all issues that could impact your decision. Pick a neutral setting that feels comfortable and welcoming. To help facilitate conversation, you might even want to put together a basic agenda that will make sure discussion stays on the most important topics.

Have Conversations Early and Often

Another important piece of advice is to have these types of conversations early and often as your loved one approaches the age or need to have someone professionally care for them on a regular basis. Having such conversations in a time of panic or emergency is far less productive and far more stressful than if you have them well in advance so a plan is in place.

Determine Your Decision Maker(s)

Even with frequent and productive discussions surrounding the care of your loved one, it can still be challenging to arrive at a final decision as to next steps unless there is someone who is the agreed upon decision maker. Consider what friend or family members is in the best position to take on this responsibility. Their role is to then facilitate discussion, listen to all opinions, research and present options, then guide everyone involved toward a mutually agreed upon solution. Having this designated “leader” will help resolve conflict and enable important decisions to be made efficiently and confidently.

Seek Mediation

Finally and most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek professional mediation from someone who can step into a tense situation and provide clarity. When a family is at odds over choosing the best method of care for an aging loved one, it can tear relationships apart – temporarily and even permanently. Before it comes to this, it is well worth the effort to seek professional mediation so that relationships are preserved and a sound decision can be reached in a reasonable amount of time.

Are you or someone you know struggling over making decisions for the future of an aging loved one? This can be one of the greatest challenges a family will face. Should you need input and advice, Ella Home Care is happy to explain the benefits of in-home care so you can make an educated decision for your family. Contact us today for a friendly conversation!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: adult, aging, assisted living, camp hill, care, caregiver, carlisle, conflict, decision, dillsburg, discussion, elderly, ella home care, family, harrisburg, hershey, in home care, lancaster, lemoyne, mechanicsburg, pennsylvania, personal care, professional caregiver, senior, senior living, york

June 12, 2018 by Kirk Brechbiel

5 Tips to Improve Caregiver-Patient Communication

Communication is challenging. We use it in every part of our life, whether it’s verbal or non-verbal, and we rely on communication to convey our wants and needs.

Now imagine the unique challenges caregivers and patients face when trying to communicate with one another in a new and unfamiliar environment, or when health issues create roadblocks. If you have an aging friend or family member who relies on the help of a professional caregiver, know that there are tips and resources that can help you facilitate stronger, clearer communication between both parties. Take a look!

  1. Set a weekly meeting to talk about important issues.

Pick a day and time and make it a weekly, recurring meeting where the patient and caregiver can go over important issues. It may be helpful to have a third-party sit in on these meetings, like the patients spouse or adult children. Some common topics that should be discussed are health concerns, changes in moods or behaviors, changes in needs and expectations for care, the schedule for the upcoming week and ways to improve everyone’s experience. Through weekly meetings, you will have scheduled time for discussion so issues are left unaddressed for long periods of time.

  1. Have multiple ways to communicate.

Not everyone prefers the same communication channels. Especially with aging adults, certain technologies or skills such as speaking, typing or writing can become increasingly difficult. Be sure to have multiple ways for caregivers and patients to communicate with each other and with other members of the family. Caregivers may want to call, text or email with family members to communicate important information. But when communicating with their patient, caregivers may prefer speaking face-to-face or writing things down for them to read. Often it’s trial and error! Be patient to find the communication channels that work best for your situation – and be flexible!

  1. Check in with each party independently.

If you are the friend or family member of an aging loved one who has a professional caregiver, you should  check in with the caregiver independently of your loved one, and vice versa. This creates a safe space for open communication about hard-to-address topics. For example, a caregiver may have noticed a decline in health and need to recommend additional care and assistance for your loved one. Or your loved one may feel their needs are not being fully met and want to talk about their expectations for quality care. As a third-party listener, you are a valuable communication channel who can help mediate issues before they grow into larger concerns.

  1. Address concerns quickly.

And when it comes to voiced concerns, the key is to address them quickly. Any issue is worth examining because a caregiver-patient relationship is quite intimate and greatly impacts quality of life for both parties. Even something as minor as a negative attitude or resistance to care can manifest into larger, more concerning issues, if not addressed immediately. Don’t forget to include your home care provider in the conversation, as they have vast experience working with both caregivers and patients to resolve just about every issue you can imagine.

  1. Pay attention to non-verbal communication.

Equally as important as verbal communication is non-verbal cues that can give you insight into larger issues that are slowly coming to a boil. For example, a patient’s body language around a caregiver, facial expressions and mood can alert you of negative emotions that could manifest into negative behavior in the future. Likewise, a caregiver’s non-verbal communication toward a patient is another way they can demonstrate love, respect, comfort and friendship. If these important cues feel “off” or indicate there may be tension between the two parties, it’s worth addressing this early and often.

What is your favorite tip for improving caregiver communication? Or do you have another to share? Leave a comment below!

Filed Under: Blog, Caregiver Tagged With: aging loved one, best practices, care, caregiver, communicate, communication, conflict, elderly, ella home care, family, home care, how to, mediation, old, patient, professional care giver, resources, senior adult, tips

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